Child-Free Adults Organize Their Own Play Dates

by Tina Tenret
February 20, 2005

Young families make up a large part of the population boom the area has experienced over the past decade. Now, everything from neighborhoods to shopping destinations caters to parents with children.

But adults without children finally have their own outlet. A group called No Kidding has 90 chapters worldwide, including one in Raleigh, for adults to socialize in a setting other than playgrounds or PTA meetings.

"I remember him running into the living room saying, 'You wouldn't believe this Web site I found.' And it was, like, wow," said Margaret-Ann Atkins, who has been married to husband Barry for 14 years without any children.

No Kidding members are mostly in their 30s. They call themselves "child-free" because "childless" would imply that they're missing something.

"For us, it was just a very natural discovery that, 'I don't really want them, so why should I have them?'" Margaret-Ann Atkins said.

Such sentiment could be growing. The U.S. Census Bureau predicts that just one-quarter of American households will have children by 2010.

Keith Eisel, who often entertains at children's parties as a magician, said he expected to have his own children when he was younger. But by his mid-20s, he knew for sure that he would never be a parent.

"I was looking at, did I really think I would become a good father? Could I really provide properly for my family, especially in times of bad economy like now?" he said.

Eisel, who is single, said the topic of children often plays a prominent role in how he dates.

"It was very difficult. It was definitely a deal-breaker meeting someone and going out on a date or two and finding out she really wanted to marry and settle down and have children," he said.

Relatives often place the most pressure on No Kidding members.

"I've heard horror stories from folks in the group really getting a lot of pressure from family. 'I want grandchildren. When are you going to have grandchildren for us?'" Eisel said. "I certainly get questions like, 'Wouldn't you want a little Keith running around?'"

Barry Atkins said he and his wife are often told they will change their minds as they get older. But he said they've seen the difficulty people have in juggling families and careers.

"A lot of women are trying to do both -- become a super-mom with a 40-hour career and raising a happy family -- and you see a lot of them, it just kills them and burns them right out. I couldn't do it," he said.

His wife admits that, when she sees a baby, she thinks about her choice not to have children.

"Later in life, I may wish I had a certain experience or (found I was) missing something now. But I think it's more important not to do something that I'll regret," she said.